The Importance of Relationships and Forgiveness
Ladies and gentlemen, humanity is fundamentally rooted in relationships. Because we live in a fallen and depraved world, it is essential for us to learn how to relate to one another as believers. Our imperfect nature guarantees that, at some point, we will either be offended or offend someone else. Regardless of which side we find ourselves on, it is necessary to address offenses. If offenses are left unresolved, they can progressively deteriorate us both internally—affecting us physically and emotionally—and externally, damaging our relationships. Lingering offenses can cost us relationships that God intended for us, including connections with our destiny helpers. The devil masterminds’ offenses, and we must not allow him to succeed in this area.
Lessons from Apostle Peter: Dealing with Offense Among Believers
Episode #1: Peter’s Attempt to Prevent Jesus’ Crucifixion
Apostle Peter, one of Jesus Christ’s closest disciples, experienced offense deeply on several occasions. The first notable instance occurred after Peter recognized Jesus as the Messiah. Jesus began explaining that He must suffer and die, but Peter tried to prevent Him, saying, “Lord, this shall not be unto thee.” In response, Jesus sharply rebuked Peter, calling him “Satan” and a “stumbling block,” and explaining that Peter was thinking from a human perspective rather than God’s.
Episode #2: Paul Rebukes Peter Over Gentile Inclusion
Another episode involved Apostle Peter being rebuked by Apostle Paul for hesitating to eat with Gentile believers. Peter, along with some other Jewish Christians, was reluctant to fully include Gentiles. Paul saw this as contrary to the teaching that no one should be considered unclean and openly rebuked Peter. This disagreement between two key figures of the early church highlighted the tensions surrounding the inclusion of Gentiles in the Christian faith.
The Effects of Offenses, Unforgiveness, and Bitterness
Offenses, unforgiveness, and bitterness can have serious consequences. They may cause physical and emotional health challenges, divide families, and destroy relationships that God designed for us. We must be vigilant daily, because these attitudes not only impact us but also those around us, even future generations. Holding on to offenses, unforgiveness, and bitterness can prevent us from moving forward—we become stagnant and stuck, unable to progress beyond the offense.
Understanding Emotional Pain and Its Spiritual Implications
People often hurt our feelings through their words and actions, leading to sadness, hurt, and anger. These experiences may touch our deepest wounds of rejection and insecurity, leaving us feeling disrespected, treated unfairly, or mocked. Hurt can quickly give way to anger, as many prefer to display anger instead of admitting vulnerability, which may seem weak. These emotions themselves are not sinful, but sin enters when we embrace the spirit of offense. Offense is one of Satan’s most effective tools against believers and often works hand-in-hand with unforgiveness.
Biblical Guidance for Overcoming Offense, Anger, and Bitterness
Ephesians 4:26-27 (NKJV) “Be angry, and do not sin”: do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil. The emotion will come, you will experience it, but you must not embrace the spirits that come with it to tempt you into sin.
2 Corinthians 10:5 (NKJV) says “…casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ”
Yes, God created us and gave us emotions, but He also gave us the ability to control those emotions.
1 Corinthians 10:13; “No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.”
My purpose today is to show you that there is a difference between our God-given emotions, and the spirits that tempt you to sin and causes you embrace offense and unforgiveness. If you claim to be a citizen in the Kingdom of God, I will say without reservation that it doesn’t matter what someone did to you or said about you, you do not have the RIGHT to hold offense and unforgiveness toward THEM. Recognize the emotion, feel it and let it go. The Bible encourages us to pray for those that hurt us.
Let us look at Matthew 5:44-45 NKJV “But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven..”
Jesus could pray in Luke chapter 23:34, “Father forgive them for they know not what they do” as He died on the cross, you have no excuse.
Once you have determined that you will not embrace offense and unforgiveness, no matter what happens or how you feel in the moment, peace enters. Trust me, it becomes easier every time to keep your peace and the spirit of forgiveness.
Philippians 4:6-7. “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus”
Peace is a healing balm to your spirit.
The Bible says in Proverbs 18:19 “A brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city: and their contentions are like the bars of a castle.”
Offense and unforgiveness will “eat you” from the inside out.
Hebrews 12:15-17 declares “…Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled; 16 Lest there be any fornicator, or profane person, as Esau, who for one morsel of meat sold his birthright”. 17 For ye know how that afterward, when he would have inherited the blessing, he was rejected: for he found no place of repentance, though he sought it carefully with tears.
We need to look out after each other so that none of us fails to receive the grace of God.
Final Scripture:
Ephesians 4:31-32; “Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ Jesus has forgiven you.”